Lesbo. Queer. Gay-boy. Dyke. Puff. Faggot. Bent. Batty.
I’m sure that we’re all well acquainted with all these insults.  Whether we personally use them or not, they have become integrated into young people’s vocabulary.  Is it really any wonder that Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual (LGB) people are frightened about ‘coming out’ about their sexuality, when they may be faced with prejudice even brutality?  Despite of all this, more and more people each year are coming out to their friends and family.  Rhiannon Griffiths talks about her experiences.

When you fall in love with your best friend, there are certain little voices in your head saying “Hmmm your best friend isn’t a guy…is this normal?” Thing is, as much as we deny it, this is completely normal feeling for a younger or older, boy or girl to have. You’d be surprised at how many people have feelings for their friends, but because of the stigma attached to this they stay silent with no support, and there’s no one to tell them it’s OK! And it doesn’t mean necessarily mean you’re gay.

Well, when I was 10 this happened to me.  I simply couldn’t get her out of my head, and had to spend the next few years being by her side and not saying anything. At first, I decided my hormones were probably working overtime and that I was mistaking love for admiration. However, when I then began feeling attracted to other females…well I simply couldn’t hide it anymore.

I came out when I was 13, and have never regretted it. There’s a world of support out there for people who want it, you just have to look.I was incredibly lucky, I have a mostly supportive family, and my friends either didn’t care or couldn’t wait to see who my first girlfriend would be! Ever since, I’ve been very active in the LGB community, from helping organise parades and applying for funding to the excitement of being in wonderful relationships and meeting even more wonderful people!

Throughout the two years I’ve been “out”, I have received the kind of attention that would make anyone understand why people of the homosexual community hide away behind the masks that depressingly get more and more convincing each year. Incidents of teasing and even bullying can range in seriousness.  On the school corridors I might receive a few words about being “a rug-muncher” and I’ve even had complaints from people who weren’t comfortable changing for PE with me, in case I ‘perved’ on them.  The thing that keeps me going is knowing that if it wasn’t about my sexuality it would be about something else. Also the support I get from school and from home reminds me that homophobes are in the minority, and are generally looked down on by people.

I believe that over recent years, the LGB community has had quite a few breakthroughs. Not only has the age of sexual consent finally been equalised to 16, but marriage is now legal for same sex couples. Also, film and television seem to be catching onto the idea that homosexuality is almost becoming ‘trendy’ to see.

Admittedly, watching people like Jack from ‘Will & Grace’ flounce about the screen with his incredibly, sometimes sickening, stereotyped behaviour doesn’t present to me the kind of representation I personally would like to see, though I’ve gotta admit he’s hilarious. It seems that on screen homosexual characters are either oppressively suicidal or dramatically bouncing off the walls with pink pride.  Lets hope for a balance soon.

In spire of this, I believe film and TV seem to be working harder these days to make up for avoiding the subject of sexuality in the past. With the second series of ‘Sugar Rush’ popular as ever(a drama all about a Brighton girl discovering the wonders of being a lesbian with her sexy best friend), and the film ‘Brokeback Mountain’ (two cowboys who fall in love in the breath taking plains of the US, and try to deny their obvious attraction) we’re finally getting some real ideas and images of what it’s like to be homosexual.

I talked to Dewi, aged 14, about his views on ‘gay people’, he said,
“I have nothing against them…but if some guy tried to hit on me, I’d have to beat them up.” I wasn’t sure whether to be amused or appalled, especially as we are related!  This seems to be a typical reaction though and is as much to do with fear as anything else.  A lot of the people I spoke to said they were OK with homosexuality, and yet admitted to being uncomfortable with same sex couples kissing or holding hands. But I don’t think this should deter people from accepting their sexuality. So much pressure is put on young people to ‘come out of the closet’, that we forget it’s their life and they need to deal with it in their own time, while being aware of support if they need it.

Luckily there are groups and organisations out there to support LGB people no matter what age, gender and sexuality you are.

One of my personal favourites is a Sheffield based group called ‘Fruit Bowl’, which is aimed at 13-17 year olds. This group is run by Gary and Joy, who are themselves gay, and provide a ‘safe haven’ for people who just want some support. You don’t even have to go to the group to get one to one support from either of the youth leaders and you don’t have to feel you are definitely gay.
The group is set up and run so that even if you’re not out to anyone except the members, or a close friend, no one else has to know it’s a LGB group.

To find out more about Fruit Bowl please have a listen to my interview with leaders Gary and Joy, on the Cube station at www.radiowaves.com.

The important thing that I’m trying to say is that being lesbian, gay or bisexual shouldn’t be such a big deal in today’s society.
“Being gay isn’t everything a person is, it’s only a small part. People, including them, shouldn’t get so hung up on it. Just accept it’s part of who you are.” Said Martin aged 15, and I think it’s a valid point.
Now that I’m out, even if not yet to everyone, I can look myself straight in the mirror each morning and be able to say “I am proud of me.”

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