I began getting depressed at 13, when my life started to fall apart, and it’s had a hold over me ever since. How can I describe it? It feels like everyone’s abandoned you, and you’re in a crowd but just not getting noticed. You grow emotionally cold until eventually you hate everyone for not being able to help. Even though they have no idea how you feel because how do you tell someone you are depressed?

The first time I told someone I was depressed they just laughed and said ‘don’t overreact’, and that was my brother! Imagine having to tell your parents that you are so unhappy it’s a struggle to get out of bed because your dreams are so much happier? Telling people is hard because if you’re not seen as exaggerating you’re an ‘attention seeker’. It got so bad for me that writing down my feelings in the form of song lyrics (I’m a rapper) for release became as hard as telling people that I’m suffering.

How do I know I’m depressed? I know because things that make most people laugh make me feel like my heart’s been ripped out. Relationships became strained until the people I cared about left and were replaced by either empty space or people who just put up with me because they feel sorry for me. Or so it seems. I got so violent that pain became a pleasant release for me. It’s annoying that all my brain tells me to do to cope is act like a prat so other people think I’m fine. Nobody said depression made you think straight.

I used to be so happy, so jokey and I was a bit mad to. But at least I had a firm hold on my life, now I just feel my life slip through my fingers. Teachers, family, nurses, doctors, psychologists and even I have tried to help but I fear I’m too far gone down a stream that can only lead to a bitter and stress filled adult life.

I want to tell people who think they are depressed to get help and fast! I didn’t and I’ve wasted a lot of time I could have spent making friends and building relationships. I feel I’ve left it too late, but I believe most are lucky enough to be helped through it, as long as they talk to someone they can trust, or even someone who they don’t, but who is in a position to help. Prozac and other head drugs don’t cure depression . There is no cure, only release. If you are looking, good luck finding it.

By Mikey Hindle

Clinical depression is a state of intense sadness that has advanced to the point of disrupting the individual’s life. 5% of teenagers in the UK are significantly distressed and 1 in 6 people in the UK will suffer from depression at some point in their lives.

A person suffering with Clinical depression may feel tired, upset, down, sad, unmotivated, guilty, unworthy, irritable and indifferent to his or her surroundings. Events or personal experience may be a trigger.