In the words of Tenacious D, “New-wave tried to destroy the metal, but the metal had its way. Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal, but metal was in the way.Punk-rock tried to destroy the metal, but metal was much too strong.Techno tried to defile the metal, but techno was proven wrong”.

My dear Tenacious D…you’ve helped me a little but I’m still going to have difficulty defining what I’m inspired by. Let’s see…tight jeans, shaggy hair and black leathers. Nah, I’m not talking about Cher, or Cindy Lauper in the 1980s, I’m talking about those skull bandana wearing, air guitar playing, head banging, rebellious old school rockers. Thing is…they’re not strictly hard rock, glam rock, pop rock, soft rock, heavy metal, or anthem rock…they’re kind of a cross between them all. They’re just what I call the ‘classic rocker’!

I’ve got a complaint to make. Nowadays rock is neglected. We don’t give rock the attention it needs and deserves; we’re all too interested in stuff like the ‘Umbrella’ song that caused a whole summer to drown in a big muddy puddle. I know Indie and RnB are the flavours of the moment, but we should not underestimate the culture that is rock or laugh it off as Wayne’s World silliness. Plus rockers themselves have brought us our everyday style. Hell, they even made long hair on a guy sexy and cool!
For me, rock is like my other half- I’m incomplete without it. Right now, I’m listening to “Welcome to the Jungle”, by rock legends Guns ‘n’ Roses, and yes I know all the words. After all it would be stupid of me to do air guitar in the kitchen and not know the words, wouldn’t it? My upbringing wasn’t exactly musical. My mum only listens to Shania Twain (that’s probably why I have selective hearing), and my dad is New Wave obsessed. Naturally I got bored and went for something different and fun…cue ROCK.
From the late 60’s onwards the classic rocker started to appear. A male rocker would wear black leathers, converse, tight jeans and baggy sleeveless tops. This was topped off by incredible muscles, long feminine hair and often a face obscured by fag smoke. He’d be leaning on a jukebox, listening to the Bee Gees. On second thoughts, it’s the 80s and he’s in an American bar drinking Jack Daniels and definitely not listening to the Bee Gees.

Not floating your boat? Go down the high street. If not all on one person you’re sure to see the same kinda gear on a whole range of people. Skinny jeans- hands up who’s got a pair? If you go back to the 60’s, rockers were pioneering them then. “Its Wayne’s World, party time, excellent!”, I don’t think that any movie could be cheesier, or contain as many converses. These ‘sneakers’, as Americans call ‘em, have been around since the 1990s, but rockers have been wearing this type of footwear for decades. And finally, a slight side note. You must have seen school of rock, and the school uniforms the kids and Jack wore on stage? Well the inspiration for this warped humour is uncontrollable rock legend Angus Young, of ACDC, famous for his awesome stage performances and twisted school boy style.

Anthems - Bon Jovi is one of the most successful ‘mainstream’ rock acts. Hell, even if you didn’t like rock 17 odd years ago, you would have at least air guitared to “Tommy used to work on the docks…”. They are a testament to the working power of rock, still going strong and respected today. “Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead…” , , “I wanna make a supersonic man outta you”, and of course “We will, we will Rock you!”. It could only be the Queen of rock. If you’ve read this far and don’t know any of those songs, you should bow your head in shame, but be commended for your devotion to me and my excellent writing skills.

Here are some bands that will rank high on the classic rockers playlist… From the UK… Led Zeppelin and Def Leppard (Sheffield’s own don’t ya know). From the USA…Gun’s ‘n’ Roses, Iron Maiden, Kiss, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith and too many more to mention!. From other parts..Australia’s AC/ DC and who could forget Sweden’s Europe (‘it’s the final countdown!’).

Sex - Funnily enough ‘Rock and Roll’ has meant different things to the generations. In the 50s it was all swing rock, big skirts and fonz gelled hair. It’s also been known as slang for sex and dance, so be careful what happens on the dance floor! Curiously, in medieval times, they referred to some sex acts as rolls…so I’m just wondering if there’s a connection?! You only have to have a listen to AC/DC’s “Little lover”, Def Leppard’s “Pour some sugar on me” and Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” to get the picture.

Love ballads -The powerful love ballad “Beth” by Kiss is up there on in my favourite ballads- maybe because my name’s Beth. Now you must know the lord of cheesy rock ballads? No? Does this give you a clue… “I would do anything for love”. If you didn’t get it, ya folks sure would. It’s Meat Loaf of course. And then get your lighter above your head for favourite Aerosmith’s classic- “I don’t want to miss a thing” . Hand’s up who doesn’t know the lyrics?

Stage presence - One of the most defining elements of rock is a bands stage presence. And boy can rockers rock! All the best rock bands I’ve mentioned have working the stage like no pop act can. And we’re not talking little back room gigs, we’re talking arena central! I reckon even if you went to a rock concert as a hater of rock, you would come out a convert. The Metallica bass guitarist has been known to practically do the splits while zooming across the stage head banging!

Being vain - Ok so not all rockers are. But definitely the one’s who lean towards glam rock and anything goes on stage. Spray on trousers, tight tops with plenty of chest and the odd cat suits. Ever wondered if they’re really men? If this look is so wrong, how come The Darkness brought it back in and nobody batted an eye lid?! And we’re not just talking grooming the hair on their head, we’re talking chest as well!

Anyway I’ll leave you with AC/DC…“We rock at dawn on the front line, like a bolt right out of the blue, the sky's alight with the guitar bite, heads will roll and rock tonight. For those about to rock, we salute you” So long life the rocker! (Who knows, I might marry one someday ;~)

Beth Charlton


Me being a Led Zeppelin girl, I would have to have Robert Plant’s high pitched feminine voice, yet macho look and John Bonham (AKA Bonzo), slamming away on the holy Led Zeppelin drums. Unfortunately Bonzo died in 1980. A fantastic musician and composer. And as I’m also loyal to Guns n Roses, I’d have to have Duff Mckagan, with his fab bass playing. For the lead guitarist… It’s either going to be Slash, Jimi Hendrix or Angus Young. I think I’ll go for the sexy Slash, and Jimi Hendrix’s talent all merged into Angus Young, because all of his performances are energetic and crazy. If I could get all this in one arena…HEAVEN!

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