Are you aware of man-bashing? You should be, it surrounds us. In adverts, children’s T.V and daily newspapers. But why is it acceptable? Jack Harrison explores…

Last week, on my paper round, I happened to read the title of a column in the Daily Telegraph which pondered, ‘Are men boring or just socially inept?’ Well I am a young man, so is this column assuming I and every other male on the planet is either boring or socially inept? Imagine if this article had been written about females? There’s no way even the dumbest of papers would dare print it. But it’s fine when it’s about men? I’m kind of offended and I’m sure I’m not alone.

Seriously, this question proposes no alternative to a negative dig at the sheer joke that is obviously - being male. Imagine walking up to someone on the street and saying, “Excuse me sir, I ponder, are you boring or socially inept?” You’d likely get a slap. How can the question include all men? Is it at all possible that most of us are nice, some are boring and a few are beer-guzzling hooligans? Fair enough, if you know a man who is a lazy drunk, say what you want
of him, but leave the rest of us alone.

Although done, in part, with a wry, self deprecating smile, this is man-bashing - sexism towards men that is every bit as dire as what made feminism essential. Man-bashing thrives on stereotyping. The column offered a choice of two stereotypical boxes to tick. Other examples include ‘drunk’, ‘macho’, ‘emotionally incompetent’ and everyone’s favourite, ‘plain useless’. Sometimes we even get to pick more than one box, wow, lucky us. I want to know where is the ‘other, please specify’ box? I want that one. And am I a man? Yep.

Sadly man-bashing is by no means new. It has been creeping into our subconscious for years, sometimes subtly, sometimes so blatantly that, when you look for it, you wonder how on earth they get away with. Consider this. When have you ever seen a beer ad where a woman is the central character? Strongbow, Becks, Carlsberg? Almost all are fronted by ladish lads being laddy for all their laddy souls are worth. Apparently women don’t drink, don’t socialise and drink, and certainly don’t get drunk. No sorry they do, it just won’t sell beer.

And it gets worse on the internet, I’ve just Googled ‘man-bashing’ naively expecting an article on this nonsense, written by an outraged guy or better still women, saying “This sexism towards males should stop now. Please sign this petition…” But no, instead I receive four pages of solid man-bashing to the tune of “The trouble with men is ...they’re men!” Oh, ha ha ha. Terribly witty. I like that. It probably took all of their comedic ability to write. No they were just warming up, “Why do men get married? So they don’t have to hold their stomachs in anymore.” HA HA HA. Amazing, bloody awesome, that is literally the least funny thing I’ve heard all century.

When I read the following, I actually held up my palms, in case the words stabbed my eyes. “I have no idea who the hell men think they are, but they p**s all over everything, then get there own way and go out and rape and beat women and laugh about it.” Whow, have a seat and some water. When is she living, the 16th century?? This really is offensive. We all rape and beat women do we? NO. Some men rape women. That is a fact. And some women are man-bashing hypocrites, but I’m not going to assume they all are. Some women, and some men, really bring their gender down, and enjoy putting both sexes into their own stupid stereotypical boxes. But not all of them!

Accompanying pictures are either of mildly good humour or unbelievably dismal. Case in point, a picture of a couple walking. The legs of the man are detached from his body and have stopped to look at lingerie through a shop window. How dare you? Who’s to say he isn’t thinking, “Maybe I’ll get her this for Valentines Day, to go with that new dress. I know she’d love that. I could take her to see that film she liked the look of, then to a nice restaurant…” By this stage a small tear has welled in the man’s eye because he is looking forward to spending all this time with the woman he loves. But then he has to quickly compose himself because he is a MAN and can’t show his emotions, oh no! Of course this isn’t what he’s thinking at all. His mind is just generating images of all of his girlfriend’s friends in the lingerie. Knowing smiles from us blokes ay? Well I’ve got news for you. Men can and want to be sensitive and say “I love you” and women want them to. But we are forever told it’s weakness by society.

If you want further proof of man-bashing turn on a children’s programme or a sitcom at any time of the day. Producers seem so scared of portraying a dumb, dependent mother and a sophisticated bread-winner dad that they have simply switched roles. So now you have overly sensible wives, who lovingly look after mashed husbands who steal the sofa off the kids. The three most popular satirical cartoons at the moment, Family Guy, the Simpsons and Futurama, all have dumb guys who act on instinct and women who get them up in the morning and put up with all their stupidity. Although it’s all in good humour, every 4+ year old boy is essential being brain-washing into knowing that this is an acceptable and almost expected future opinon. Sure son, it’s fine to lock up your emotions, and make sure you get a partner you can bore with incessant football talk. That’s the way it is son.

And whilst I’ve mentioned it, football IS interesting. I love it, how can you not? (whoops). But seriously, the thing that makes man-bashing all the more complicated is that very often it’s also encouraged by its (and my) own gender! In his article, ‘Why men should care about gender stereotypes’
(www.thefword.org.uk), Alex Gibson questions why men don’t object to being labelled by any of the narrow boxes we are often limited to? Or as ‘mentally deficient lumps who require a female carer to function in society’, as he so eloquently puts it. The answer is clear. These days, from a young age, we are only made aware of sexism towards women and even why feminism was essential. Most men respect the female gender because of this, but what aren’t we brought up to know? Boys aren’t told “Have respect for your gender, look out for each other and be exactly who you want.” And girls, “Don’t give boys a hard time just because they’re boys, be nice to them, equality doesn’t equal payback.” No one deems these conversations necessary in this society. But I tell you, they are becoming necessary. As Gibson puts it ‘Feminism encourages women to shed gender stereotypes and consider themselves as individuals. Men don’t have anything remotely equivalent’. Well done Gibson, you knocked it right on the noggin.

But what we do have is sense if we choose to use it and that goes for women as well. During my research, I was disappointed to find, a lot of man-bashing is done by so called feminists, and that’s just hypocrisy. There is no denying that in the past women have been badly discriminated against and it still happens every day. So payback is fair is it? Well no it isn’t. Women of past generations fought courageously against oppression and good on them. But what did they fight for? Equality. Not the chance to gain the mindset that held them down in the first place. But on a positive note, true feminists are, like some of us men, outwardly questioning man-bashing enough to start bringing it to society’s attention. One such women is Rebecca Front. In her article ‘No excuse for man-bashing’ (The Guardian, June 2008) she recalls two conversations she’d overheard in which women had verbally smashed their partners into the floor. She states “For me, true feminism is a belief in equality even where there’s very little evidence of it. If I may put it modishly, you can cuss your man because he’s a loser, but don’t diss him just because he’s male ... girlfriend!” Nice one Front. A nice dose of true 21st century feminism is just the antidote.

Along with the likes of Gibson and Front, and as a young man, I hope the Neanderthals responsible for man-bashing, will soon reject these stupid notions and step back into their time machine...to go forward into the 21st century.

By Jack Harrison